We create our reality from what we know; our held beliefs, values, and accepted self-image. However, our outmoded childhood belief systems lock us into a repetitious cycle of patterns and habitual processes. Many times, we find these patterns creating negative outcomes. You can learn to re-create your own reality by discovering these negative producing patterns, […]
Continue ReadingThere’s no denying it…life is filled with pain. Some of us have had so much pain that we are overwhelmed by it. The thought of trying to work through the pain, to face the realities of what has happened, may make us feel like shutting down and giving up. However, there is hope. There is […]
Continue ReadingThere are a number of questions that are repeatedly asked by survivors and families of survivors and I would like to take some time to address some of those here. I will occasionally add more as they come to mind, or as you ask them. Why must I go back and rehash the past? My […]
Continue ReadingThere’s an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with “How are you?” and “I’m fine” and And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else–except the elephant […]
Continue ReadingI became a sex therapist in the mid-1970s because I was impressed with how well standard sex therapy techniques were able to help people overcome embarrassing problems such as difficulty having an orgasm, painful intercourse, premature ejaculation, and impotence. The use of sex education, self-awareness exercises, and a series of behavioral techniques could cure many […]
Continue ReadingDo You Have an Anger Problem? The following are questions designed to help identify potential problems you may have with anger and/or control. This is not a researched scale, but it can point to serious signs of danger in intimate relationships. Do friends and family feel free to share their thoughts and feelings with you? […]
Continue ReadingThe following provides some basic principles for beginning the process of sexual healing from the aftermath of sexual abuse. Work toward establishment of the essential conditions for ensuring an atmosphere in which sexual recovery can occur (these are essential for any healthy, sexual relationship): Mutual consent Equality of personal power in relationship Mutual respect Mutual […]
Continue Reading“Oh no! I must have done something wrong and now I’m really in trouble. I wonder if I said something wrong in our staff meeting today? Did I send all those letters he told me were important? I thought I got them all typed and mailed. What could it be? Why does he want me […]
Continue ReadingPretend that you are 75 years old and that you are writing a letter of advice to yourself on how to live your remaining years with meaning, value and significance. This was an assignment presented by my therapist to the support group that I was part of last year. The following list is a combination […]
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