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She would have had someone who was proud of her
And proud to be her father
And not because of what she did
But just because she was your daughter.
She wouldn’t have had to shed those tears
When other kids bragged about their dads
Because she would have had her very own
And the best anyone could ever have.
Discipline would have been in love
Because you’d know what’s best
You wouldn’t have kicked her, slapped her, beat her
Or put her to the test.
Her heart wouldn’t have jumped in panic
Whenever you came near
She would have completely trusted you
And would never have had to fear.
She wouldn’t have felt those awful stabs
Of loneliness in her heart
When she’d see others close to their dad
Its pain ripping her apart.
But she’d have snuggled close against your chest
Safe within your arms
You would never have pushed her away
Or brought her any harm.
She’d have shared with you all her secrets
Her joy, her hurts, and inner pain
You’d have let her laugh or cry her tears
Not have inflicted shame.
You would have made her feel so special
Not worthless, ugly or bad
Your words would have been kind and gentle
Oh, if only this life she could have had.
You would have never left her
Never even saying good-bye
Inflicting a hurt too deep to face
And a sea of tears that couldn’t be cried.
With you she would have flourished and blossomed
Become all that she could be
You wouldn’t have killed her spirit
But you would have nurtured it for me.
I know what’s past can never
Saucy’s dad you couldn’t be
But just knowing it would have been different
Is strangely healing to me.
And when you put your arms around us
It helps the pain to melt away
It gives us what we’ve never had
And gives strength and courage to face each day.
Saucy and I both love you
In a very special way
You mean so very much to us
More than words can say.
by Annie
Copyright: Annie – 1990 – All Rights Reserved
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