Feb
Our daughter was sexually abused by an uncle.
We did not press charges right away. Our daughter’s therapist wanted
to wait until she was emotionally stronger before doing this. But,
unfortunately, her abuser still managed to get to her to continue his abuse
of her; even, after her father confronted him. (Now, it was a challenge
for him.) We had not choice but to file charges after we found out
this was still happening.
Her abuser never had to experience the humiliation
of being put in handcuffs, being taken to jail, or being held there.
He retained a very good attorney. His attorney was going out of the
country; so, he wrote a letter to the court saying he would bring his client
in when he returned. Fortunately, we did not have to be in court
for the arraignment. The abuser was released on his own recognizance…No bail at all.
A preliminary trial was held in district court
to determine if there was enough evidence to hold the abuser over for trial
in circuit court. Our daughter had to tell what had been done to
her with her abuser in the courtroom staring at her the whole time.
The judge told her that she was very courageous in testifying. She
never once faltered in her testimony; not even when the defense attorney
tried to confuse her. She was fifteen at this time.
Of course, waiting to go to trial was dragged
out for months. No matter what we did, our daughter’s abuser was still
contacting her and making all kinds of threats. Finally, he said
he would kill the whole family if she testified in court against him.
So, she refused to talk or testify. The district attorney said she
was sure the abuser was guilty; but, now, she was not guaranteed a conviction
so she was dropping the charges against the him. Her best advice
for us was to get a personal protection order against him. We got one.
But, how this would protect our daughter, we had no idea. Her abuser
was confronted, charged, and brought to court, and he still was contacting
her!
My advice to anyone in this situation would
be to find an attorney experienced in this field to protect the rights
of your child. There was so much we did not know at the time.
Also, if you feel you need to remove your child from the home, DO SO IMMEDIATELY!
We did not do this because the experts said it would add to the emotional
damage that had already been done. Well, I learned at the expense
of my daughter that the experts are not always right! I also learned
that the parent must do what they think is best for the child no matter what anyone else says. We learned the hard way the legal system is set up to protect the rights of the criminal not the victim.
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